Soleiya Counselling Therapy

Poetries

There is no light without darkness. No joy without sorrow. Part of living fully is to learn to dance in all shades and tones. My wish for my clients is to lead healthy, meaningful, and joyful lives – to find grace, even in ungraceful moments, amidst the darkness we all inevitably face as human beings.

Welcome to my personal library of poems – an eclectic collection of stories, contemplative musings, kaleidoscopic imagination, and tender expressions of the soul, written since the early days of my journey as a therapist, many moons ago.

I hope it leaves you, dear reader, feeling some sort of a way.

  • an orange swirl of 

    cream, caramel, and salt

    a play on lightness and warmth flowing to my toes

    i can almost taste its air-whipped, tangy, mousse-like texture 

    marrying into a citrus scent of nectar 

    a lover’s liquid-golden touch 

    a melancholy waltz 

    the soft sun 

    the star of the show 

    makes its mellow descent 

    across the dripping sky canvas of heavens

    and into the turquoise gates of the sea-washed kingdom 

    i am lulled under its spell…

    i am drowsy 

    in the intensified honey glow

    my eyelashes flutter shut 

    like the closing scene of the final act 

    lush blood-red curtains falling into place 

    ripe, rosy, fragrant

    i inhale it fully 

    this milky smooth mélange

    of soul and peace 

    all found in a wholesome

    brew of orange 

    swimming in a flavourful cup of tea 

    a treat

    that i have swallowed whole 

    from which i became warmth itself 

    even upon the amber orb’s departure 

    Footnote: An ode to simply being here on this planet, at this very moment.

  • Have you ever considered 

    what it would be like to hold a conversation with your shadows?

    Familiarize yourself with them.

    Invite them to dinner. 

    Ask them what they are afraid of,

    and why.

    After all: 

    there are strange and wonderful things 

    in these lands of darkness,

    and you might learn a thing or two

    about the secrets of you.

    Footnote: When shadows become friends.

  • 12:58AM: 

    a dreamer on the rooftop 

    she fell in love with the sadness of the city lights 

    but the light in her eyes 

    still remained bright 

    throughout the milky smoke of the night, 

    she wouldn’t have minded sharing this lovely night

    a dreamer on the sidewalk

    he sat in solitude against a lamppost

    mouth curled, eyes closed

    he basked in the husky tunes of the saxophone 

    among the slow humming of the city noise 

    wondering if anyone else feels as lonely tonight,

    for he wouldn’t have minded sharing this lovely night 

    Footnote: An imaginary scene about loneliness, longing, and hope. Please note that “she” and “he” are only used narratively and can be used interchangeably to reflect, embrace, and honour all forms of identities, relationships, and expressions of love!

  • she makes me think of 

    wildflowers 

    growing freely & unapologetically 

    she is beautiful.

    for she surrenders her heart to the brightness of living 

    until she’s breathing 

    energy itself 

    found growing even in unlikely places

    she occasionally blooms in 

    cracks & crevices 

    but she needn’t fear 

    the darkest of nights 

    for despite being delicate

    she is strong 

    drenched but not drowning  

    all wildflowers know 

    how to weather a storm  

    Footnote: On being alive; on resiliency.

  • the pull is strong 

    falling into the orbit of 

    old patterns

    so familiar 

    that I feel it 

    expanding and contracting 

    in my bones:

    the structure to my home.

    tell me

    how does one  

    change the foundation of childhood 

    without the risk of 

    capsizing? 

    where can I 

    seek refuge? 


    Footnote: On breaking free from childhood trauma. Trauma refers to anything that distresses and overloads one’s system.

  • And then there was 

    silence 

    after the storm.

    the dust settles,

    the whirlwind gone –

    but now I feel 

    like I don’t belong,

    I don’t belong.

    for I am chaos 

    with my human yearnings.

    how do I learn 

    the art of 

    quietening

    and sitting

    still 

    in 

    this 

    SILENCE?!

    Footnote: A reflection on how it can be hard to let go of mayhem, especially when it’s all you’ve ever known. The chatter is what feels familiar, while the new is different. New can be scary. But new can be good. 

  • One night:

    in the midst of a thunderstorm 

    I had ripped open my life tapestry

    in a macabre fashion,

    witness all its contents 

                                burst forward 

          in extraordinary speed,

    just in time to taunt me.

    it was madness at play –

         and as reckless as it may seem,

    I was simply an orchestrator 

    searching for a cathartic 

                            release,

    teetering in between the unhinged edge 

    of morbid fascination

      and an insatiable hunger for

               self-destruction.

    neither part of me 

    could tell 

    whether it was more delicious 

                          or horrifying.

      spring in my steps 

    feverish fingers,

    I plucked till red, 

    till I could taste fire and tears.

            in circles I danced,

      faster and faster –

    unwaveringly agitated,

    lavishly desperate,

    entangled in threads,

         wild hair matted,

    fist after fist 

    after fist 

    after fist.

    a fitful trance.

    oh how there’s exhilaration 

    in unravelling acceleration. 

    And – my. god. 

           the crescendo,

    it is beautiful!

    to unleash 

         the Wrath –

    I trembled in its presence,

    tearing apart 

    like a mortal wound,

    louder than the roars of the sky,

    of what appears to be a lifetime of tragedies 

    spilling forward.

    and fearlessly,

    within this chasm,

    I fell into a prostrated 

    position,

    allowed it to swallow

    me 

    whole –

    enraptured in

    an unmarked burial site,

    awashed,

    anew, 

    in the dead of the night.

    this was how 

    acceptance was born –

    with all-mighty

    rawness and

    sensual clarity. 

    I will admit,

    but not in defeat,

    that I am.

    (still)

    angry. 

    Footnote: A reflection on catharsis and the strange beauty in feeling fully. The truth is, it can be frightening, disorienting even, to experience our emotions – especially the intense ones. Numbing or avoiding them is a coping mechanism many of us adopt. This poem explores the power and release found in confronting strong feelings, emphasizing that acknowledging our emotions is essential to align with ourselves and the life we want to create. Doing so can be profoundly liberating – breathing movement into stagnancy and creating space for healing to take place.

  • Here I sit 

    in my chair 

    thinking of strips 

    on a watermelon 

    I suppose 

    they remind me 

    of imprisonment

    the repetitious dullness 

    of living 

    a spirit 

    in captivity 

    mechanically 

    spiritless 

    rallying up 

    the number of days

    of boredom 

    tick tick 

    goes the pencil 

    tick tick 

    goes the clock 

    striking away 

    at my lifeline 

            like a matchstick

    and I wonder 

    what would it be like

    to go on a strike

    instead of sitting in this chair 

    so mundane-like

    because then 

    I would not be sitting here 

    unimaginatively 

    thinking of

    watermelons 

    Footnote: The commonly shared sentiment of following the “right path” or “expected path”, which doesn’t always lead to personal fulfillment.

  • what are we doing?

    swimming out in the dark, 

    paddling further and further away

    from the city lights 

    on a mad hunt for adventure.

    restless fervor beating through our veins

    as we push through the surface 

    spluttering,

    every now and then 

    at the spray of the ocean

    yet drawn to the taste of danger.

    skin soaked, clothes heavy

    we are rising, falling, and sinking

    the warm seawater laps at our necks and cheeks

    strumming, thrumming onto our backs and chests

    occasionally caressing our eyelids 

    face flushed in between fever and passion 

    drunk on the rolling of the tides 

    tossing, turning, reeling, and tumbling

    seduced into their confines 

    you had promised me a good view 

    despite knowing my fear of the dark 

    you lulled my demons, swayed me into submission 

    by igniting my impulsive spark

    but

    what are we doing?

    it doesn’t feel right

    swallowing saltwater in the night 

    submerged in an unfamiliar

    territory

    not a single soul out in our sight 

    naïve and trusting, but ever so uneasy 

    my movements have become tired and slow

    the waters churn

    they lurch and surge

    plunging me from high to low

    wearing thin, I am afraid 

    of this element engulfing me 

    but you did say 

    that only I can fix you

    so here we are in this raging sea

    crashing waves

    thrashing my body

    and I know 

    that the bruises are forming

    yet I can’t seem to find the heart 

    to head back to the start

    I can still hear the ocean’s calling

    for out in this sea, you did say you needed me

    it’s two of us against the world 

    for every blow, I still intend to follow

    so, into the sea we go

    into the sea we go 

    yet I’m sick of the to and fro

    I’m winded, depleted, entirely defeated

    and I’ll have to deal with this tomorrow.

    what are we doing?

    no – what are you doing?

    you’re not giving me time to breathe

    deeper and deeper into the foamy depths

    to the murky kingdom beneath

    I’m a wreck, let us go back

    the violence of the current still shocks me

    you would think that by now

    I’d be stronger

    but the truth is

    I am slowly drowning

    and amidst it all 

    the deranged sea motions

    I finally saw the turmoil reflected in your eyes 

    in disbelief, vulnerable as it is

    I cried while unraveling your lies

    heaving, broken

    you destroyed my trust

    I should have known that your eyes were full of storm 

    I took a breath, and tore away for the shore

    it’s time for me to go 

    home

    Footnote: A reflection on heartbreak and the difficulty of letting go of unhealthy relationships. Emotions can feel like a vast, unpredictable sea – overwhelming, confusing, and relentless. This poem symbolizes the experience of being caught in those currents and the challenge of finding your way back to safety, clarity, and self-compassion. Being swept by the current can sometimes be part of learning how to swim again.

  • I sit in the vortex 

    of a home 

    and yet 

    I am unhappy.

     

    I wonder

    if belonging is a myth,

    or if my roots

    refuse the soil

    they were given.

    Footnote: A reminder that appearances can be deceiving. What looks whole from the outside may be fractured within. A house may stand, its walls intact, yet still echo with dissonance. A house, after all, does not always mean home.

  • "Fairy Lights":

    The most magical thing in the world. Under its austerity, there is something so warm, so kind, so sincere, so forgiving, and opulently imaginative about it. It makes you feel as if you, a lost traveler, has stumbled upon your very own Xanadu. Intoxicated by the beautiful suddenness of it all, you enter, like a child, a small smile that hasn't been there a while ago, trembles delicately on your lips - and you, you soak it all in, the quiescence, the amenity, in awe, in wonder, with gratitude, in a daze: "is this a dream?" you murmur; yet not waiting for an answer, you delight in the ever-replenishing comfort and nostalgia, knowing, but not ready to know, that one day you'll have to go back. 

    And so, just like that, you become inaccessible to the outside world. Just for that one moment, in an unrepentant time and place, you realize with a profound amazement that you have everything you've ever desired, everything you'll ever want, right here, right now. 

    And so, you stay. 

    Footnote: An appreciation for what your inner child loves.

  • A homage:

    as we welcome the new,

    never forget the old,

    never forget the past.

    we may make the future,

    but history still makes us. 

    Footnote: Don’t seek to break ties with what has passed – seek to make it part of your story. Like in many Indigenous worldviews, the past is not behind us but walks with us, shaping who we are.

  • A dance with the rising sun

    in worship of its vibrancy,

    in hope that as we embark on yet another rotation around it, 

    we’ll expand into the flow and opulence of living,

    breathe into our highest potential,

    invite in love and nourishment,

    and manifest each and every one 

    of our own definition of warmth, richness, and happiness.

    Footnote: A blessing to the beginning of a chapter.